I am tired. Tired of this life, tired of all of the bullshit. Tired of goddamned people.
Seriously, even when I am just trying to be left alone in my goddamned house, I somehow manage to get fucked with.
I composed a letter to the next door neighbor about the BBQ smoke coming in our apartment situation that I lamented about yesterday… I will link the letter HERE.
EDIT 7/27/2017 – I set the letter to viewable by myself only. It didn’t work and all it does now is piss me off when I think about it. 😡
It is possible I misconstrued what I saw but what I believe I saw (I was spying out of windows in my apartment) was the neighbor out on her deck, reading my letter, and then storming off towards my landlord’s house, reading as she went, but then doing an about-face and coming back, still reading, before she had any time to have spoken with him. Then she texted furiously on her deck for a while, got in her car, fucked off for a while, came back home, sat in her car in her driveway texting furiously for another while, before finally going into her house. Yeah, her house.
I wrote yesterday that I have lived in this town for 7+ years and I didn’t know who the hell those people were. I didn’t. That situation has changed.
When she headed towards my landlord’s house, I thought – “wtf? Are we not grownups? This is not anything involving him, it does not need to involve him. Why does she appear to be going to his house?” Grownups go to the source, right? Even if it is passive-aggressively, with a letter, as opposed to face-to-face. I was likewise boggled at the library. I was lamenting to the librarian about the grill smoke situation, seeing as how I had to go there in order to print out the letter. The librarian asked me, “Why didn’t you go to your landlord?” I was like, *boggle* “why would I?”
Is there something I am missing? I mean, my landlord ain’t the foo’ that be pissin’ me off flooding my house with literal poison, carcinogens, toxins! smoke! … Tf?! So why in the world would I go to him? The neighbor is not even his tenant!
I did call the cops for advice – not to narc – I never mentioned a name (I didn’t even know any yet at the time!) or even an address, I merely solicited advice. The officer asked… “have you asked them to move the grill yet? No? Do that and if they don’t move the thing we’ll come over and deal with it. But ask them first!”
Logic! Ask them. Not go fuck with the completely unrelated landlord!
I figured, seeing as how she appeared to be still reading the letter as she stormed towards his house, that she had not yet gotten to the part about either my old granny, or, maybe to the whole “the law is on my side” part. Maybe that’s what turned her around. Whatever it was…. idk.
It’s all speculation. I cannot know.
The whole scene has me super-angsty – I have now wasted my whole goddamn day on it – in between composing, printing, delivering, and fretting about the letter, followed by some cyber-sleuthing… I managed to waste a WHOLE DAY on it. Barring the time I was asleep, I have been pissed off and/or worried about it for 33 hours now. Is that not a bit ridiculous?! Faithful readers (ha! have I any?!) 😆 know that when I go on a tangent it is for ALL DAY PLUS. I wonder if that is some sort of mania or mental illness. It’s like my brain falls into a groove and I can’t claw my way out. I’m like a goddamned turtle on my back with it. Asshole Dreamscope developers… Rooney Rich-Bitch Mousy Mara… rude, oblivious neighbors… whatever. The topic of provocation can vary wildly. I can’t just be pissed for a while and move on like a normal damned person – I let stuff fuck with me all day (and then some). I gotta figure out how to quit doing that…!
I utilized my internet skills and now I know the names of the people residing in both units, of that house, and now I know that the woman owns the goddamn place. No wonder she was so mad. I had never given it much thought – why would I? – but I had errantly assumed that she was a renter. Whatever, I don’t care, she is wrong and she simply cannot do that. She cannot let her own or her tenant’s grill smoke pour into our windows. She is LITERALLY POISONING US. Absolutely fucking not, no.
I also know now who her family and friends are and what her house cost her, and where she went to High School and where she went to College, and where she works and what the inside of her house looks like and roughly what she earns annually.
And her kitty-cat’s name.
Jesus Christ the internet is fucking creepy! 👀
I love it.
I knew that my landlord owned more rental properties, but I also learned that he owns TEN. How in the fuck did he ever afford ten houses, at least two of which are duplexes! How?! Fuck! How do other people do so well? Oh right! Normal parents! Normal childhoods! Eventually, college instead of Dead Tour and homelessness!
I remembered when I first got to this miserable apartment, 7+ years ago, I was so so so fucked. My life out West had just fallen to tatters and I had so many problems with my teeth and that goddamned neck tumor and I was breaking out in boils all the time… I was pretty sick.
I lamented about it on Facebook and some bully, a mean asshole that I had gone to school with, surprised the hell out of me by bringing me some antibiotic. (I checked Pill ID before I took that shit of course – I aspire to be Nobody’s Fool). (I’m not really succeeding). 😞
I couldn’t get my own antibiotic yet – I had not been back here in this miserable state long enough to have applied to social services or Medicaid or whatever. Later on the creep found the nerve to try to get all up in my junk and he was immediately rejected of course – like ew – he made merciless fun of my stupid cleft lip in school for years. What made him think that I would ever ever ever…?! People are so fucking weird! Anyway, I always veer wildly off-topic, don’t I?
I wasn’t gonna have that greasy fuckball in my house, so I told him I’d meet him outside for the antibiotic. He pulled into the neighbor’s driveway. We were there only fleetingly – it was winter and I didn’t like the dude and I didn’t even really know him – I hadn’t seen his stupid ass in over 15 years. I wasn’t trying to stand out there and hold social hour over it. The landlord walked by and said “what is the deal, what are you doing? You can’t be standing out here like this and having people’s trucks parked in the neighbor’s driveway.” Like, I get it, but I wasn’t controlling where the fuck dude put his truck! (Dude was hardly parked, he was idling…) Also I had the pill bottle in my hand which he saw the guy hand to me. I told the truth – even though it was none of the landlord’s damn business! – I said, “I am sick and he brought me some antibiotic.”
It WAS antibiotic but I know what the fuck that looked like! I hadn’t even rented here 2 months yet at that point and I looked like some kind of a redneck-screwing druggie. Fuck! And it really was an antibiotic. For a molar that had me contemplating lying on a railroad track. Plus I was and have been celibate ever since! Fuck!!! Do you see how my life goes?!
Well the good ole internet told me that the neighbor is 7 years younger than me – and the landlord is 12 or 13 years older than me! Holy shit! (Two sites reported his age a year apart so I am unsure which is accurate – didn’t care to dig that deep). So at least I knew that they weren’t old school chums – they have nearly a 20 year span between them.
That is kind of unbelievable, actually. I would have guessed that they were both roughly my age or even that she was older than he is. He looks really good for his age. So does his wife. She jogs a lot.
So, I have no idea if the landlord was up at arms because of the stupid fucking pill bottle or because the piggy-faced shit-kicker was in fact in the neighbor’s driveway (and with an extraordinarily large, loud and dirty redneck truck, of course) and he didn’t want any “bad neighbor drama” – understandable, who does…
Damn everything! I don’t know these damn people. I don’t know if they are friends or mere acquaintances of eachother. I don’t know if they have some bizarre “homeowners club” mentality – which may sound crazy – but I get treated differently. I do. I am one of the Undesirables. I know that I am. I’m sure the reason we have been able to stay here so long is because of granny. I am convinced that when she dies the landlord is going to find some reason to put his foot in my ass and restore normalcy to his street. Yeah his street – he only owns three of the houses on it! 😨
I have more to say about this but I think I am going to put it in another blog entry (most likely about how goddamn weird this town is), or else this is going to get too long and disassociated.
I have no idea what’s going to happen with the neighbor and the goddamn BBQ. Today is the 4th of July. 🎇
I suspect that I shall know, soon enough, then.
Man I hate Holidays.