This, this blog entry right here encapsulates this whole blog. What it boils down to is that I am just not allowed to have nice things, or joy, or even fleeting pleasure. I’m just not. This happens again and again. The Born Loser – that dude has it easy. The dude hasn’t got a thing on me.
This happens every goddamned time – again and again. Every time I try to have, like, enjoy, derive pleasure from, or participate in anything it all finds a way to turn into shit. Is it any wonder that I am a jaded hermit bitch?!! Barring one music related post, the only entry in this entire blasted blog that hasn’t been a bitching lament of misery and woe is the one titled Fun, in the category aptly titled Rare Happy Things. Well that fun has turned to shit! I suppose I should not be surprised, I mean, par for the course, right? The endless constancy of this exact brand of bullshit in my life is the reason this miserable blog exists. I am not allowed to experience even minimal pleasure. It MUST always find a way to be cruelly revoked. Forever.
Par for the course.
Oh fuck!!!! I blogged about my love of Stick Figure there, too! I suppose I should now expect them to find a way to turn to shit, and I should probably refrain from posting the new Gorillaz video there, too, which I was going to do – lest they find a way to become ruined shit as well. I’ll probably still post it anyway.
I just thought to myself – how could there be a way to ruin somethings so lovely as Stick Figure or Gorillaz? I’ve fucked up big-time now. Because I enjoy them, the universe will find a way to ruin them. Maybe Scott or KBong will turn up pedo, maybe Jamie and Damon will turn out to secretly be into drug or human trafficking. OK I’m cracking wise now and I don’t believe that of any of those lovely, talented men but I am so damn jaded and angry that I just EXPECT the few rare things that I find to be enjoyable to find a way to be turned to shit. It is, after all, par for the FUCKING COURSE, isn’t it?!!!!!
Why, yes, it certainly is, as further demonstrated today by our “friends” at Dreamscope. ← Usually I’d turn that into a link, but fuck them and fuck that. I am not sending any more traffic their way. Goddamned jerks.
I have been generating images at Dreamscope for just under a year now, and I have communicated with Stephen B. multiple times, he is the person who responds to the email provided by Dreamscope to “contact”. He in turn has CC’d some of my emails to Michael, who shares Stephen’s last name, and who Stephen says is “in charge of the site”. I do not know who these people are, how they are related to each other, or who does what job there, but I do know that Dreamscope is a product of Lambda Labs. Usually I’d link that, too, but, fuck them.
I have emailed these people enough times that I have become a bit of a pest, maybe, but my reasons for emailing have always been legitimate – for example, the time I asked them why I was banned for a cloth-covered nipple when you can regularly find genitals on the site. (Fret not, the link is not a genital even though I could have easily found one. They’re rampant on the site and my cloth-covered nipple was a fucking problem). Really.
Like the blog entry (linked above) purports: unbelievable!
Another time I had to email back & forth with him because my Facebook log-in quit working. Other times I would message back and forth with him about other functionality issues pertaining to the site. He would usually reply promptly and I even told him once how much I appreciated that. On one occasion he asked me if I would be willing to do a Skype session with him to discuss how I use the site, not only because I use it so heavily, but because – at the risk of sounding arrogant – I am one of the very best. I declined to Skype, I have no webcam, (I’m ugly!!) but I happily communicated to him my thoughts and ideas about the site via more emails.
And then… one horrible day, he… they… whoever… started fucking the site all up, and fucking it up very badly. The site’s UI was changing every goddamned day and more often than not shit didn’t even work anymore! I emailed him… them… literally begging them to stop ruining their beautiful, beautiful site. Their response was to become icy. Emails which had always been acknowledged before went ignored. Responses when they did come were short and curt. I guess they really took the criticism to heart – but fuck! I would not have begged them to quit ruining their site had they not been RUINING THEIR SITE!!!! Right?!!
The site purports that for $9.99 a month you will receive:
Paintings are huge! (1024 x 1024)
Outputs are more detailed.
Skip the line. Your images are painted first!
Your images will be displayed on the front page.
That ↑ is cut & pasted directly from their site. That is what they say you get for your $9.99.
Now let me show you something. I could easily post the images themselves here for a quick quality comparison, but it wouldn’t truly show the difference in size. Remember, BIGGER is 25% of what I am paying for here, as is BETTER – and these links show the major failures on both counts.
Therefore, I’m not going to post images. I am going to post links. I’m going to keep it to six links – the results of the UNPAID and the PAID version of 3 different images generated on Dreamscope. Please open these links, then you will REALLY understand why I am so very pissed off! Once I had paid and the orange banner appeared proclaiming me an official Dreamscope Plus Member, I decided to scroll waaaay back to the very bottom of my page – I have generated just under 5000 salvageable images (many more get deleted for not meeting my particular standards) and work my way up, deleting old crap, re-trying old filters with new images, or maybe regenerating images that pleased me but did not get the likes or attention that I felt they had deserved.
This is what happened. These three links are images that I generated for FREE, damn near a year (11 months) ago.
Nice! really, really nice. Now let’s take a look at what happened after I used those EXACT SAME IMAGES with those EXACT SAME FILTERS after paying into the site in order to gain the promised land of BIGGER, BETTER, FASTER and FRONT PAGE.
The bizarre-o and sudden change in formatting there is because it’s a cut & paste from the email I sent Michael, bitching about it all and I don’t feel like fiddling about right now to fix it.
It’s sick! It’s ridiculous! LOOK at those images!!! LOOK AT THEM!!!
This is the exact, polar opposite of what I paid for!!!
As the images clearly reflect, my paid-for images are SMALLER and LESS DETAILED. There was not a remarkable difference in the amount of time it took for the images to generate, and the newly generated images did not appear on THE FRONT PAGE. Well, not until damn near 30 hours had gone by, anyway. Super frustrating, especially since images used to appear on the front page instantly, back before those damned fool idiots started doing their very damned best to fuck up their beautiful website!!!
I sent an email asking why my paid-for images were smaller and far less detailed than my free images were, and why they were very much not on the front page. My first email about the situation was at 6:07 pm on Tuesday night, which means they have now been ignoring me for approximately 33 hours. I have sent two emails since then trying to figure out why I am not getting what I paid for and why my emails are being ignored. I have also learned since then that other users are becoming pissed off due to these and various other problems surrounding the site.
Now these dudes, Stephen and Michael, have the same last name, so I am allowing for the possibility that something has happened in their mutual lives/family that may be the reason they are ignoring their emails and the multiple laments that are popping up all over the site in their wonderful new and ill-conceived comments sections!
Why do I call the new comments section ill-conceived? It is a mess! Sometimes a comment just will not post, no matter how you edit it or slam your enter key, or sometimes the comment will sporadically post multiple times, and sometimes empty comments are generated as well. Wtf?! Is that stupid enough yet? No? Wait for it…
There is no fucking scroll bar! At some point what you can view of the comments just cuts the fuck off at the bottom of your screen! There is NO WAY to scroll down and see the rest of the comments, but people can keep leaving them via the comment link anyway. Then you keep getting these notifications about these goddamned comments that you cannot even SEE!!! How is that for maddening?
What a fucking mess. Jesus bloody bald headed Christ, this is panning out to be a bigger joke than Rooney Mara. If these dudes don’t fix this mess, I will do my best to fry their servers with a stupendous amount of images, since hell, I PAID for it – and when my membership expires I will lacerate them all over social media.
So yeah – once again Fun has turned to Shit. Par for the course. Absolutely.
I should have expected it.
Rare Happy Things are so rare in my life that the category contains exactly two entries. Soon, it will be three because I’m going to post that Gorillaz video. It’s creepy and bizarre and I like it. Like I said earlier, if I like it, it is bound to be ruined. Maybe somebody will poison Cocoa the Tour Dog. Scott lets a hell of a lot of strangers handle her and feed her at the shows. Or maybe, maybe a tour bus containing both Damon and Jaime will encounter a fatal and/or crippling incident. I don’t know how it will happen, but somehow, some way, they will be ruined. Nothing that I enjoy, nothing beautiful will stay that way – it will inevitably fall to ruin. River Phoenix and The Black Crowes and HIM (among many, many other people and things) (EDIT 5/30/2017 and now Joaquin Phoenix as well) have already demonstrated this trend, so, it won’t be for the first time.
I expect it. I must learn to expect it as a measure of self-preservation.
My Ancestry.com account expires on the 7th (tomorrow) and I also recently purchased the Vampires Expansion Pack for my Sims 4 game. I have Sims of Kiefer Sutherland, Billy Wirth, Alex Winter and Brooke McCarter – that would be The Lost Boys for those of you who for some unimaginable reason might not know that. I have many other celebrity Sims and have contemplated making Jamie Gertz (Star) Jason Patric, (Michael) Corey Haim and Corey Feldman (Sam and Edgar) Sims to round out The Lost Boys cast.
What better way to break in my new Vampires Pack, really?!!
In addition to creating avatars, I also enjoy building houses in The Sims 4, and I do it very well. I have been wanting to try to build the Spirit House from the new Gorillaz video, Saturnz Barz, that I intend to post in direct defiance of everything that I enjoy turning to shit! The new creepy build mode items from the Vampire Pack will go a long way towards even being able to build such a sick house!
EDIT 5/30/2017 – I made it and I did an amazing job, if’n I say so meself.
Look! See! 😁
I have unread library books, including The Walking Dead Compendium 3. There are SO MANY THINGS I could have done with my day instead of being pissed off at those assholes at Dreamscope all day long. I have been, too. I have been livid for hours. It’s actually given me a stress headache.
I am on SSI, not even SSDI but SSI, which is under $800/month – so yeah, when I fork out $10, I WANT what the fuck I PAID FOR. I ain’t no rich bitch, and even if I were, that shit just ain’t right.
It pissed me off more than it should have, I suppose, because par for the course! I was going to wait until my Ancestry account expired before I paid into Dreamscope, because I knew that Dreamscope would suck me away from Ancestry, and I’d waste those days I had paid for on Ancestry fooling around on Dreamscope! I tried to hold out until the 7th when my Ancestry account expires, but I paid into Dreamscope on the 4th – I couldn’t wait. I actually anticipated it.
So of course, all of this. Of course.
Why not?! Par for the course.
On top of the rest of this bullshit it looks like other users were offered a 7 day trial period, but I didn’t see any of that – my $10 was yanked immediately. I logged into my DirectExpress account, and sure as shit, that money is gone. No 7 day trial period. Nope.
Not for the likes o’ me.